Movie Review: Battleship

We all know what to expect from a stereotypical blockbuster film, but Battleship fails at delivering any redeemable features with mediocre action and a dull nonsensical alien invasion.

Peter Berg produces and directs Battleship, an epic-scaled action-adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force. Inspired by Hasbro’s classic naval combat game, Battleship stars Taylor Kitsch as Lt. Alex Hopper, a Naval officer assigned to the USS John Paul Jones; Brooklyn Decker as Sam Shane, a physical therapist and Hopper’s fiancée; Alexander Skarsgård as Hopper’s older brother, Stone, Commanding Officer of the USS Sampson; Rihanna as Petty Officer Raikes, Hopper’s crewmate and a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones; and international superstar Liam Neeson as Hopper and Stone’s superior (and Sam’s father), Admiral Shane. — (C) Universal

For undemanding filmgoers who just want to escape from reality for an hour or two, the movie has plenty of CGI alien action to offer as long as you turn off your brain. Completely. Because once you try to make sense of any of it, or even as much as pay attention to the characters, that’s when dumb fun (the most you can really get from typical big budgeted blockbusters) becomes just plain dumb and cliched.

The lead is Lt. Hopper, (played by Taylor Kitsch, a casting choice that already tells you this is not going to be good film based on his track record so far) an undisciplined hot shot. His love interest of course is a blonde hot chick named Samantha Shane (Brooklyn Decker) who is coincidentally the Admiral’s (Liam Neeson but don’t let his cameo fool you) daughter. Naturally, he doesn’t approve. The rest of the cast is paper thin.

When the alien invasion starts rolling you do get a lot of action scenes, but none of them are really memorable (except that robotic yoyo of death that wiped out helicopters) . The invasion itself doesn’t make any sense. The alien forces only respond to possible threats from weapons. Lt. Hopper somehow receives a vision of mass destruction, but the enemy doesn’t show any indication of harming humans unless provoked.

The movie then ends predictably. Lt. turned commanding officer Hopper employs unorthodox but effective methods that defeat the alien flagship. Efforts form unlikely heroes (complete with a defining moment of a downtrodden hero who finds the courage to stand up and fight) seal the victory. The surviving crew gets saved in the nick of time.

Battleship was able to incorporate the board game that inspired it but ultimately, the movie is empty, predictable and cliched.

My Rating: 3/10

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Chris says:

    Battleship is one of those over the top action flicks that you can only enjoy if you are 12 or are lighthearted enough to laugh at it. I skipped this movie in theaters because I saw it as more of a 100 million dollar joke than an actual film. A coworker at Dish recommended it as having Transformers level CGI, and being in the mood for some senseless fun I decided to rent it. I added it to my Blockbuster @Home queue online, and it came in the mail yesterday. I have to admit that I had a pretty good time drooling over the visuals, and making fun of every hackneyed plot device they dragged out of the Hollywood basement to give this thing a story. I love renting these cheesy action flicks because they really make great use of my home entertainment system, and I don’t have to shell out $30 to watch it one time.

  2. I agree. Paying for the movie ticket is a total waste of money, but it is one of those movies that you can get a pirated copy of (and not feel guilty) and to laugh at to pass the time. It’s basically just a cash grab, although I don’t know if it’s earning anything lately since moviegoers are more discerning. I guess they can recoup some of the cost from DVDs.

    Thanks for reading!

  3. arena23 says:

    I like your review, its very unique and original!

    Check out mine! http://moviereviewsdirect.wordpress.com/2013/04/18/battleship-the-infamous-board-game-comes-to-life/

    Keep up the great work 🙂

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